So I’ve been thinking quite a bit lately about who I am and who I want to be in all aspects of my life. Some of them are simple and somewhat meaningless, while other areas are the biggies.
So…for all three or four of you to read, but more importantly for me to write, here is the “me” I want to be.
I want to be the kind of husband who my wife is always glad to see.
I want to be predictable in my temperament and my response to stressful situations, but romantically unpredictable, always surprising, always fresh.
I want to always think of my wife and her needs and desires before I think of my own.
I want to love sacrificing my desires for hers.
I want to be the safest place in her world.
I want to remind her every day that I think she’s wonderful and beautiful.
I want to provide for her financially.
I want to encourage her spiritually.
I want her to count on me to lead our family spiritually and to guide our steps with the help of my God.
I want to be the kind of Dad who always finds spending time truly interacting with my children more important than the show I’m watching, video game I’m playing, computer at which I’m staring, and business I’m running.
I want my kids to trust me to care for their hurts the right way.
I want them to trust me with this completely.
I want to be patient with them, understanding of them, and consistent with them at all times.
I want them to grow up knowing that they are loved because of who they are, not what they do.
I want to continue to be like a kid in the ways that kids like. I want to unashamedly play with toys and games. I want to build tents out of sheets in the living room and tell stories in the dark with my kids. I want to engage my imagination with the imagination of my children and create amazing worlds together in our minds.
I want to ask more questions about other people than I do.
. . . because I want to care more about them than I do.
I want to tell others how great I think they are more.
I want to complain less.
I want to never curse old people drivers again.
I want to be the most fair person in the world.
I want to know more people from other races and have them call me “friend.”
I want to allow myself to be saddened by sad things.
I want to know more about: blues music, wine, Cuba, web and graphic design, and guitar playing.
I want to finish my screenplay.
I want be healthy in mind, body, and spirit.
I want to dunk a basketball again.
I want to come home from work, make a great meal, light candles, and listen to fantastic music on an LP with my wife.
I want to sit on my deck and smoke a cigar more often.
I want my siblings to look up to me and to count on me to be the best big brother.
I want to play more with my dog.
I want to be better at shutting the hell up and listening.
I want people to leave my presence feeling better about who they are, not who I am.
I want to be involved in city development.
I want to not care that I don’t give a rat’s ass about playing golf, even though I feel like I should for some stupid reason.
I want to unashamedly represent Jesus to people like football coaches do when they go on TV and say that their team has honored the Lord and he blessed them….even if they are full of crap.
I want to stop caring so much about doing Christianity a certain way and care more about allowing Jesus to really change me and my life.
I want to be thankful always.
I want to be like my Dad in so many ways.
I want to be cool under pressure…and I’m not at all.
I want to see all people the way that God sees them, rather than the tainted way that I tend to.
I want to keep writing right now, but I have to go to bed.

1 Comment
December 16, 2007 at 10:15 pm
thanks, man. Know that the Lord speaks through you… and count me as one of those 3 or 4 that read this… probably because of the sentence before that.