Rain

My life is so crazy.

Oddly, it’s raining tonight in Oklahoma. It’s a slow August rain that seems to exist only to remind us that we live in a world of seasons and of life and change. I needed it to rain today.

The monotonous blister of ninety degree days that has accompanied my very full life lately has caused me to feel like I’m in a desert both spiritually, emotionally, and relationally…as well as literally. I’m in the process of opening a new restaurant, which is the most exciting thing I do. I love to create and to problem solve. I almost never tire of it. I can move forward obsessively and without fatigue if my creativity is engaged. I should be having the time of my life, but other things have interfered. The restaurant that I already own does practically nothing for me that I can call positive. Perhaps I’m bitter or tired of it. Really I think I’m just tired of unmet expectations, primarily of some of the people who work there. In my mind right now that place is like a weight around my neck. I want it to be gone and I want the stress it creates for me to go with it. I want to play and have fun with the new restaurant - the one that is like I want it to be. Sometimes being an optimist and a dreamer is great. It’s so easy to fall in love with the potential of something. There is a romance in the unknown that can never be topped by the romance of the present. I think the flip side of that life is that consistent disappointment hurts people like me a little worse than it does most people.

I’m whining because I can. I won’t do anything about that little store other than blog about it here for the three people that ever stop by. I’ll keep plugging along because it’s what has to be done. But for now, tonight…I’m going to complain with my fingers…banging away at the keys of my laptop.

Most of the time I can envision our new store being this amazing place that provides world class service and that serves as a place for relationships to be made and nurtured. Most of the time I can see lives changed and dreams fulfilled. I want to see those things all the time. I want to stay naive and hopeful.

I want to be a positive influence in the lives of my staff and I’ve seen myself slip already and it makes me sad. I have a great team of guys with me on this ride and I’ve allowed the stress of my life to bring out a version of me that I don’t want others to see. I want them to see fun, optimistic, encouraging, hopeful, insightful Blake. Instead, they’ve seen cynical, dry, smart-ass Blake.

Not this week. I’ll do better. When I do, I’ll thank God for making it rain on Saturday night. It refreshed me. He healed me a bit tonight.

God, bring me your peace so that I may share it with others. Help me to lead as you lead. Help me to remember you first. Please give Kyle, Brian, Ryan, and I a new energy and a new focus. Thank you for your subtle shoves and your booming whispers. Amen

Food and Entertainment Today

So I don’t write here much, though I should. Blogging and eating right are battling it out as the two biggest “shoulds” in my life. I’m watching a new show called “quarterlife” on the DVR right now. It has something to do with blogging so I got inspired and decided to go with it. In honor of the show and my new diet, my post will have to do a food and entertainment theme.

Some little things:

1. McDonalds has a new skillet burrito that looks good except for the green peppers which look gross. I tried to order one last week without the peppers. It can’t be done. I was told that “it’s a mix.” Upon hearing this, I decided never to eat a burrito of any kind at McDonalds again. I now order the much healthier fruit and yogurt parfaits.

2. The writers strike that happened recently didn’t seem so annoying at the time. Now, I’m pissed. I’m sick of stupid game shows and lame reality programming. I watched that show last night where they pay people to take a lie detector test and then reveal the results to people. It’s the most awful show ever. The show participant destroys their relationships one question at a time. Example: “Since you’ve been married, have you had sexual relations with anyone other than your husband?” “Ummmm. Heh. Ummmm. I’m going to have to say……yes.” “That answer is…….true.” MASS APPLAUSE FROM THE CROWD!!! Yeah!!! She’s an adulterous whore!!! You’ve ruined your marriage!!! Congratulations!!! We’re so proud of you!!

It’s total trash. I’ve never felt worse about myself than after watching that show.

3. Semi-Pro Opens Friday. I’m happy and excited.

4. David Archuleta is a kid on American Idol. He’s amazing. I got chills tonight while watching that show. If you can find it online…you should.

5. Last thing. I’ve been needing to share this. Family Fued is great. It’s had its ups and downs over the years and has been through several hosts. The first guy who hit on all the women and gave them kisses, Ray Combs who killed himself, Al Borland from Home Improvement, and now Mr. Peterman from Seinfeld. He’s the best. Seriously. The show is great. It comes on at 10:30 which is right before we open the restaurant, so I catch parts of it most days. One of my little dreams in life is to be on that show. I think my family could definitely dominate…and maybe even come away with the 20 grand.

That’s all for now.

Downtown Among Safest Areas

The Tulsa World reported today that Downtown was safe and getting safer.

I’m a daily reader of the Tulsa World and would be lying if I said I didn’t think they wrote stories with an intent to influence the public sentiment. As you may know, there was a shooting at the Hive recently. Clearly that type of thing is the last thing any downtown proponent wants to hear. There’s simply no way to spin it. With the primary concern about downtown being its safety, it’s difficult to convince people that the crime that happens downtown doesn’t happen because it’s downtown. The shooting at the Hive was another club related incident. Arrests have not been made as the shooters were the club owners and were acting in defense. Regardless, it’s a headline. The World, seemingly intent on offsetting the negative press with some positive news, dropped a little nugget of shiny, sparkly good news about downtown safety.

You can read the article HERE.

While I’m not a journalist, the article left me wondering about the crime rate downtown compared to other geographic areas of town as well as compared to other areas of similar population density. It mentioned an increased police presence and seemed to credit the civic efforts for the “good” marks, but failed to provide a frame of reference. It didn’t even state what the crime rate was prior to the implementation of the increased police presence.

Being that we are opening a new restaurant downtown, I’m very interested in not only public perception of downtown, but also in the actual crime statistics.

I believe that many have false ideas about downtown crime. I sense that a large number of people unfairly equate homelessness with crime and that the stories of club-related violence is a more notable news story than the type of crime found in other parts of town. Regardless, the city has a job to do. The increased police presence is important, not just for safety, but also for perception. While many already understand that downtown crime is not to be feared, there is still a long way to go. The Tulsa World whipping up stories that fail to adequately inform skeptical readers is not going to help.

If the city is truly concerned with attracting new business to the downtown area, one of the first and most important steps should be addressing the public perceptions about downtown. Even if the thoughts about downtown are unfounded or uninformed, they still need to be addressed. Sometimes I feel like the city needs to consult a PR firm to help change some perceptions and attitudes and to pump up some civic pride. I’m truly proud to be a Tulsan. I’m proud of our downtown area and am excited about being a part of its renewal. Tulsa is a beautiful place and is worth fighting for. I suppose the World is trying to do their part. If you’re a Tulsan, I would like to encourage you to do yours.

Go Hawaii

 

I’m gearing up this morning for what may be the greatest two days of football the entire year. All the best college matchups that the terrible BCS could come up with are lined up and ready for lazy men everywhere to enjoy. The game I’m most looking forward to is the Hawaii vs. Georgia match-up in the Sugar Bowl.

I’ve followed Hawaii’s program for over a decade and am proud of the team and excited for their chance to shine on a national stage. A few years back, former NFL player and coach  June Jones took over at Hawaii as the head coach. He took a team that hadn’t won a game the previous year and in just a few years has them playing in the BCS. This will be his 6th bowl game. He recruits displaced and troubled players from the mainland and relies on local Hawaiian players to make up the foundation of his team. He then trusts the family-like culture of the island community to keep players in line and to provide for them a place to grow in to men.

Several years ago, Jones was in a horrific car accident. He was in a coma for a week and in ICU for a month. By all accounts he should not have survived. His near death experience refocused him on things that were important. “The last four years or so I realized the good Lord saved me,” Jones said. “[He] put me on the earth for a reason, to help not just with football, but in their lives and impacting, seeing some of the things that have happened off the field with my players has meant more to me and given me the realization God saved me.” His influence on his team is unmistakable and their response has been obvious. The team is undeniably connected and consider themselves to be “Ohana,” Hawaiian for family.

To me this team is proof that community and relationships give people life. Even the Heisman finalist quarterback, Colt Brennan, was a walk-on who had gotten kicked off Colorado’s team and who had faced criminal charges for an incident at a party with a young woman.  Brennan is now the leader of the team and even rejected entering the NFL draft to stay at Hawaii for his senior year because he wasn’t ready to leave his family there. Let’s hope tonight’s game serves as the icing on the cake for Jones, Brennan, and the rest of their Hawaii family. Go Warriors!

The ESPN article on Hawaii is linked here.

Best of luck, Hawaii!

I Am Disappointed?

I saw this film this afternoon. There was a great deal of “sitting on the edge of my seat.” Amazingly, I left with an odd sense of disappointment. (SPOILER ALERT) Perhaps it is because I’m used to Will Smith Action/Dramas ending with him kissing the girl while fireworks explode in the background. Much to my chagrin, that does not happen at the end of this movie. Also, the “infected humans” look stupid. The vacant New York was very cool and Smith’s acting was exceptional. The story line was decent enough, though it could’ve been smarter. By that I mean that they could’ve gone into greater detail about the outbreak of the virus and about how the humans dealt with the early stages of infection. I would’ve liked to have seen that. I’ve heard a handful of people say they didn’t like the movie and I think we’re all feeling the same thing. There isn’t one specific thing that can be pinpointed as the reason. There was some “wow,” there just wasn’t enough of anything. I guess I felt like I had seen it before and was looking for something more this time.

My 7 star scale:
Acting: (How good was the acting) 7 out of 7
Dialogue: (How well was the dialogue written?) 6 out of 7
Story: (Originality, twists, plot) 3 out of 7
The Look (backdrop, set design, etc): 6 out of 7
Special Effects: (action scenes and CGI) 2 out of 7
Watchagainability: (will I watch it when it’s on TBS in 5 yrs) 2.5 out of 7
Overall: 4 out of 7

Fantasy Football

Another fantasy football season is virtually over for me. I’ve lost in the first round of the playoffs and am now forced to fight for the meaningless third place trophy. The third place trophy isn’t real; it’s a little image of a trophy that Yahoo! gives out for the guy who isn’t quite pathetic enough to win the larger first place trophy.

My first round loss in the league I care most about can be blamed on one Carson Palmer and one Adrian Peterson. Peterson, a mid-season acquisition for  me was brought in to put the team over the top. Instead, he got hurt and then screwed me in the playoffs with his 3 yard outing. In fantasy sports, it’s not about the team, it’s about individual players holding your life in their hands.

When I look back on the fantasy football season, I’m somewhat embarrassed at the amount of time I spent tweaking a virtual team. Sadly, I am not alone. It is estimated (by me) that over 10 billion people (just a guess) play fantasy football. Its primary value is that it gives football fans who are in no way capable of actually playing football something in which they can compete that is football related. Fat, drunk guys at the bar or tubby cubicle dwellers would appear foolish if they ran outside for some football, but it is totally acceptable to linger around the water cooler discussing unfair trades and mid-season melt-downs by pro-bowlers. It and it alone causes the male attendance at Sunday school to be surprisingly steady through the football season. Men must discuss! God bless fantasy football. It may hinder productivity in the workplace, but it builds relationships and strengthens communities like nothing else.

It’s about community. It’s about competition. . . and it’s about over. Here’s to fantasy baseball. Spring training is almost here.

The “ME” I want to be.

So I’ve been thinking quite a bit lately about who I am and who I want to be in all aspects of my life. Some of them are simple and somewhat meaningless, while other areas are the biggies.

So…for all three or four of you to read, but more importantly for me to write, here is the “me” I want to be.

I want to be the kind of husband who my wife is always glad to see.

I want to be predictable in my temperament and my response to stressful situations, but romantically unpredictable, always surprising, always fresh.

I want to always think of my wife and her needs and desires before I think of my own.

I want to love sacrificing my desires for hers.

I want to be the safest place in her world.

I want to remind her every day that I think she’s wonderful and beautiful.

I want to provide for her financially.

I want to encourage her spiritually.

I want her to count on me to lead our family spiritually and to guide our steps with the help of my God.

I want to be the kind of Dad who always finds spending time truly interacting with my children more important than the show I’m watching, video game I’m playing, computer at which I’m staring, and business I’m running.

I want my kids to trust me to care for their hurts the right way.

I want them to trust me with this completely.

I want to be patient with them, understanding of them, and consistent with them at all times.

I want them to grow up knowing that they are loved because of who they are, not what they do.

I want to continue to be like a kid in the ways that kids like. I want to unashamedly play with toys and games. I want to build tents out of sheets in the living room and tell stories in the dark with my kids. I want to engage my imagination with the imagination of my children and create amazing worlds together in our minds.

I want to ask more questions about other people than I do.

. . . because I want to care more about them than I do.

I want to tell others how great I think they are more.

I want to complain less.

I want to never curse old people drivers again.

I want to be the most fair person in the world.

I want to know more people from other races and have them call me “friend.”

I want to allow myself to be saddened by sad things.

I want to know more about: blues music, wine, Cuba, web and graphic design, and guitar playing.

I want to finish my screenplay.

I want be healthy in mind, body, and spirit.

I want to dunk a basketball again.

I want to come home from work, make a great meal, light candles, and listen to fantastic music on an LP with my wife.

I want to sit on my deck and smoke a cigar more often.

I want my siblings to look up to me and to count on me to be the best big brother.

I want to play more with my dog.

I want to be better at shutting the hell up and listening.

I want people to leave my presence feeling better about who they are, not who I am.

I want to be involved in city development.

I want to not care that I don’t give a rat’s ass about playing golf, even though I feel like I should for some stupid reason.

I want to unashamedly represent Jesus to people like football coaches do when they go on TV and say that their team has honored the Lord and he blessed them….even if they are full of crap.

I want to stop caring so much about doing Christianity a certain way and care more about allowing Jesus to really change me and my life.

I want to be thankful always.

I want to be like my Dad in so many ways.

I want to be cool under pressure…and I’m not at all.

I want to see all people the way that God sees them, rather than the tainted way that I tend to.

I want to keep writing right now, but I have to go to bed.

THE BEST THING I’VE EVER SEEN

Dad’ll do it.

If I played football….

Leave Britney Alone

This cat is passionate. I apologize for the language in this video, but it’s so good I just had to share it.